Sex, Buffalo, and the White House

In honor of Presidents’ Day, I was delighted to see that Buffalo's gift to the White House was honored on a very prestigious list.

Okay, it was a list of the top Presidential Sex Scandals.

But at least on one list, Grover Cleveland is in some pretty prestigious company.

FDR.

JFK.

Thomas Jefferson.

Let’s face it, a sex scandal list is the only top-10 list Grover Cleveland would be on.

He wasn’t exactly considered one of our better presidents.  Not a bad one either….just kind of average.

But he was certainly interesting.

And not just because of the sex thing.

Although….that was really interesting.

After all, he was elected president despite the fact that he had fathered an illegitimate child.  One of the greatest campaign slogans ever was used against him.  “Ma, Ma, where’s my Pa?”  Then after he won, his supporters added a second line.  “Gone to the White House.  Ha! Ha! Ha!”

He also had a little cradle-robbing thing.  When his best friend died, he promised he would take care of the man’s daughter.  He did.  He married her.  He was 49, she was 21.

They say Bill Clinton was a great student of history.  Clearly he studied Grover Cleveland.

Who, by the way, had quite the meteoric rise.  In three years he went from mayor of Buffalo to governor of New York to president of the United States.

Unlike our elected officials today, he got things done.

Even if he had to do them himself.

Before he was mayor of Buffalo, he was Erie County Sheriff.  Back then, the sheriff was responsible for carrying out executions or paying a deputy $10 to do it.  So Cleveland did it himself.  Twice.  Both were hangings.

Can you imagine a presidential candidate today doing that?  Even Rick Perry never flipped the switch himself….and we all know that man loves to kill prisoners.

On the political front, Cleveland was known as a reformer. 

He cleaned up corruption in Buffalo.  (at least for a while)  That got him elected governor.  Where he cleaned up Albany.  (at least for a while)

And that got him elected president in 1884.  Where he cleaned up Washington.  (at least for a while)

But he wasn’t re-elected in 1888.  Even though he won the election.  How did that happen?  Cleveland won the popular vote but lost the Electoral College.  (So he was the 19^th century version of both Bill Clinton and Al Gore)

But he wasn’t finished.  He came back.  He was elected again in 1892.  The only president to serve non-consecutive terms.  (I have this Arnold Schwarzenegger image of him leaving the White House and saying “I’ll be back”.  He didn’t.)  But the First Lady did tell a staff member to keep the furniture the way it was, because they’d be back in four years.

But Cleveland didn’t do so well in his second term, so not only was he not re-elected in 1896, he wasn’t even nominated as the Democratic candidate.

That year, the Republican was elected.  William McKinley.  And we all know how well his trip to Buffalo turned out.

But think about that for a minute.  The former mayor of Buffalo was replaced in the White House by the man who would be assassinated in Buffalo.  And honored with a monument in front of Buffalo City Hall.

And think about this.  If McKinley hadn’t been assassinated, would Teddy Roosevelt have become president?

So one of our greatest presidents became president because of Buffalo.  Replacing the man who replaced the president from Buffalo. 

Who wasn’t a great president. 

But he’s a great story.

Happy Presidents Day, Grover Cleveland!

I was driving down Transit Road this afternoon and when I passed Grover’s, it was mobbed.  Which makes sense.  After all, it's Presidents Day…and what better way to honor the only president who came from Buffalo than with burgers and beer.  In a bar named after him.  Where he probably did his share of drinking when it was his hunting lodge.

So let’s talk about Grover Cleveland.   In just three years he went from mayor of Buffalo to governor of New York to president of the United States.

He’s not considered a bad president.  But not considered a particularly good one either.  Most surveys have him pretty much middle of the pack.  But there are some interesting things about him.

I know, you’re expecting me to write about the sex scandal.  And I won’t ignore it….after all, he was elected president despite the fact that he had fathered an illegitimate child.  Then there was the child bride thing….while president, the 49-year-old Cleveland married the 21-year-old daughter of his late friend.  (when Bill Clinton was president, everyone talked about how he idolized JFK….clearly Cleveland was his role model)

But there’s more to Grover Cleveland than his hormones.

For one thing, he was the kind of guy who got things done.  Before he was mayor of Buffalo, he was Erie County Sheriff.  Back then, the sheriff was responsible for carrying out executions or paying a deputy $10 to do it.  So Cleveland did it himself.  Twice.  Hangings, both times.  Imagine if Rick Perry could say he did that….think of the applause he’d have gotten in those debates.

Then there’s Cleveland’s reputation as a reformer.  When he became mayor, Buffalo’s government had a reputation for corruption.  (who says history doesn’t repeat itself?)  But Cleveland cleaned things up.  And as his reputation grew, they took notice in Albany.  Which led to his election as governor.  Which led to reforms in state government.  Which led to the presidential election of 1884.  Which he won.

Which led to reforms in Washington.  Even though Cleveland was a Democrat, he kept Republicans in their jobs if he thought they were doing those jobs well.  He was actually an anti-patronage politician.

But in 1888, he lost his bid for re-election.  Even though he won.  Huh?  Let me explain.  Cleveland actually won the popular vote against Benjamin Harrison, but narrow victories in several key states gave Harrison enough Electoral College votes.  (So not only was he the 19^th century version of Bill Clinton, he was Al Gore without the hanging chad)

But when he left the White House, Cleveland said “I’ll be back”.   Okay, before you think Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator, he didn’t really say that.  But the First Lady actually told a staff member to keep the furniture the way it was, because they’d be back in four years. 

And they were.  Making Cleveland the only president ever to serve two non-consecutive terms.   But his second term wasn’t as effective as his first.  He also made many enemies in his own party, so he wasn’t nominated as the Democratic candidate in 1896.  The Republican candidate won that year’s election.  His name was William McKinley.  Who…as we all know….came to Buffalo for the Pan American Exposition in 2001.  And we know how that turned out.

Which is actually another interesting tidbit.  The former mayor of Buffalo, replaced as president by the man who would be assassinated in Buffalo.

One last tidbit…..when Cleveland died in 1908, his last words were “I have tried so hard to do right”.  When it comes to last words, those are pretty good.

So happy Presidents Day, Grover Cleveland.  Buffalo’s gift to the White House.  You’re welcome, America.

A special anniversary weekend

There are anniversaries we celebrate.  Weddings and other life milestones, sports victories and record-breaking performances, debuts….things like that.  There are anniversaries we commemorate every year.  Deaths, tragedies like 9-11….the list goes on.

Then there are the anniversaries we would like to forget.  And here in Western New York, two of the biggest are this weekend.

Yesterday was the 21^st  anniversary of Super Bowl XXV.  And today is the 35^th anniversary of the Blizzard of 77.

Two events.

Four words: Wide Right.  The Blizzard.

A disaster of biblical proportions.  And a snowstorm.

Okay, that’s a bit much.

But the fact is, in the entire history of Western New York, how many events had such a significant and long-term (even permanent) impact on the region, on the people….and on our psyche?

Even when the British burned Buffalo to the ground in the War of 1812, we managed to recover.  Although parts of the city look like they’re still under construction from back then.

The only other event I can come up with which matches these two is the assassination of President McKinley in 1901.  A lot of people still believe that was the moment Buffalo began its decline.

But let’s go back to the Blizzard & the Bowl, since those are the anniversaries being marked this weekend.

The Blizzard just may be the most eventful event we’ve ever had.  Both in terms of how it impacted us, and how it impacted our perception around the country.  Even around the world.

We don’t get nearly as much snow as other cities.  Like Syracuse.  And we all know that for the most part, when we do get clobbered, most of the time the area that gets it is the snowbelt south of the city.  And ski country.  You know, where they build ski resorts because they get a lot of snow?

Other cities have had snowstorms that were just as bad.  Even worse.  Snowstorms that have killed many more people, or have been much more destructive.

Ever hear of the Donner Party?  No matter how bad it gets here, we’ve never had to eat our neighbor. 

But when we talk to people in other parts of the country, and they find out we’re from Buffalo, what’s the first thing they say?  “How do you handle all that snow?”  “How can you live there in the winter?”

That’s all because of the Blizzard.

It’s not officially winter in the United States until there’s a snowstorm in Western New York, and the Weather Channel and all those other networks can do live shots from here (never in Buffalo, of course…always in the Southtowns or the Southern Tier) and their reporters are seen being buffeted by blustery winds in near white-out conditions.  Then everyone can say “Look at Buffalo….you know, that’s where they had the biggest blizzard ever”.

The Blizzard also changed us.  It gave us a chip on our shoulder the size of Lake Erie.  We know it snows here.  We know there are times it isn’t handled very well.  Like when all those people got stuck on the Thruway a few years ago.  Or when everyone who worked downtown either got stuck at work or spent 10 hours trying to get home when we had the Thanksgiving week storm in 2000.  (ever since then, my emergency kit goes into my car in October and stays there until May)

But the Blizzard was a once in a lifetime event.  The perfect storm of storms.  And it was 1977.  The technology, the equipment, and the knowledge are all better today.  (although the local weather guys would probably still get the forecast wrong)

If the same type of storm happened again tomorrow, it wouldn’t be nearly as devastating and the impact wouldn’t last nearly as long.  The roads would be cleared sooner.  We’d be back at work and the kids would be back at school.  We wouldn’t be stuck in our homes as long.  Plus we’d have cable.  We’d be able to see all those Weather Channel live shots.

As for the Super Bowl, let’s face it.  We all know, deep in our heart of hearts, if Scott Norwood had made that field goal we would have gone on to win at least one more Super Bowl.  Look, if one or two plays had been different during the game it wouldn’t have even come down to the kick.  If Jeff Hostetler didn’t hang on to the ball when he was sacked in the end zone (and I still don’t know how Bruce Smith didn’t manage to get a touchdown instead of a safety) or if Mark Ingram could only manage to break 5 tackles instead of the entire defense on that third and 13 play or one of a bunch of other plays had been different it could have been Marv being drenched with Gatorade at the end of the game.

It was that moment when being a Bills fan began to change.  Optimism gone, hopes dashed, we know that somehow some way we’re going to get hosed.

Never mind winning another Super Bowl.  We all know, deep in our heart of hearts, if Scott Norwood makes that kick, life in Western New York is different

Those cosmic forces that have lined up against us ever since then would have targeted some other city.

“No Goal” would have been ruled no goal.

Bass Pro would be here.

We’d have a new Peace Bridge.  And a convention center.  And a children’s hospital.  And everything else that we were supposed to get but never got.

Think I’m kidding?  Think it was just a missed field goal that cost us a game?  A very, very, very big game?

Look at what happened just a few months ago.  The Bills decided to honor Scott Norwood.  And that day, the team played its worst game of the season.  Followed by several other worst games of the season.  The day they honored Norwood is the day they began the seven-game losing streak that turned their season from exciting to embarrassing.

Yep, cosmic forces.  Wide Right lives on.

So if you’re celebrating a happy anniversary this weekend, I’m happy for you.  Because I’m just thinking about how different things might be around here.

Buffalo: City of Good Drinkers

Every once in a while, something comes along that really boosts my civic pride.

Maybe a nice article about Buffalo in a national publication.

Or a big event held here that attracts national attention.

Or a list of America's drunkest cities.

Here’s somewhat surprising news, if you attended at least one Bills game or spent any time on Chippewa Street this year.

Buffalo is “only” the 16^th drunkest city in the country.

Just in time for New Year’s Eve, the Daily Beast is out with a list of the top 25 cities for boozing it up.

It’s based on scientific data obtained in a survey.  Of course, it’s a survey of drinkers….so you have to wonder just how many of the people surveyed answered accurately.  Or even remembered their name. 

Here are the factors that went into the survey: average monthly drinks consumed per person, percent of population that are heavy drinkers, and percentage of population that are binge drinkers.

Here are our numbers:

13.1 average monthly drinks per person

8.7% heavy drinkers

19.4% binge drinkers

The first number seems a little low, unless Bills fans were so blitzed they couldn’t take part in the survey.

The second number seems about right.

But I have my doubts about the third number.  If that many Western New Yorkers are binge drinkers, Chris Lee wouldn’t have needed Craigslist.

Anyway, when all the numbers were added up, the number one drunk city in the country was Boston.  And if you’ve ever driven there, that makes perfect sense.   Plus, they had a Stanley Cup parade this year.

Just up the Mass turnpike, Springfield is number two….and if you’ve ever been to Springfield, you know there’s nothing to do there but drink.

Other rankings that made sense....a couple of big beer towns were high on the list.  Milwaukee is number three, and St. Louis is number eight.

Chicago is also in the top 10, and Las Vegas is 14.

But we were also beaten out by Burlington, Vermont at number 11.  Which could explain some of the flavors they come up with at Ben & Jerry’s.

And Fort Myers, Florida is number 15.  Have you been there?  I think the average age is 102. Apparently a lot of snowbirds are too drunk to fly.

But back to Buffalo. Let's be proud.  We're not nearly as drunk as you might think.

What Buffalo sports fans can be thankful for this year

It certainly doesn’t seem like Buffalo sports fans have much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.  We’ve had more than our share of turkeys this year.

A Bills season that started out so well has gone down the toilet faster than Ryan Fitzpatrick could sign his name on that contract extension…..and now with Fred Jackson out for the year, is there really any hope at all?

But in the spirit of the holiday, here’s my list of things we really can be thankful for.

First, Terry Pegula.

Second, Terry Pegula.

Third through 10^th, Terry Pegula.

I know the Sabres haven’t been world beaters, and there are still questions about talent at center and overall team grit…..but does anyone doubt that this team will win the Cup?  Does anyone doubt that Pegula will spend whatever it takes and do whatever it takes?

I’m thankful that even though they’ve gone from exciting to embarrassing, they’re still the BUFFALO Bills.  Not Toronto or Los Angeles or God knows what other big-market city is salivating for an NFL team.  And yes, when Ralph goes to wherever it is he’ll end up when he leaves this world, there’s a better chance that the team will leave than stay….but call me an optimist.  They’re talking lease extension (and even though the politicians could screw it up, I don’t think they will) and we’ve heard enough rumblings about potential new ownership groups that I remain hopeful.

Speaking of the Bills, I’m thankful that we haven’t learned they’ve been pulling a “Weekend at Bernie’s” thing with Ralph.

I’m thankful we’ve had half a great season from Fred Jackson.  (And perhaps he’s thankful he no longer has to carry a team that underpays him and wasted a draft pick on CJ Spiller)

I’m thankful that Stevie Johnson hasn’t gotten any headlines for his Twitter posts and pictures this year.  On the other hand, I wish I could be thankful for the way he’s playing.

I’m thankful that David Nelson isn’t dating one of the Jills.

I’m thankful that we seem to finally have a real tight end.  I’m looking forward to being thankful for him being a major part of the offense.

I’m thankful that Ryan Fitzpatrick hasn’t hurt a fan in the stands with an errant throw.

I’m thankful that OJ is still in prison.  I’m also thankful he hasn’t killed anyone else.  (allegedly)

Back to the Sabres….I’m thankful for Nathan Gerbe.  Don’t you just love the way he plays?  I wish he had been on the ice when Lucic plowed into Miller.

I’m thankful more players don’t tell Bucky Gleason what goes on in the locker room.

 I’m thankful the slug is gone.  (not Tim Connolly, the logo)

I’m thankful the Sabres still have Thomas Vanek.  Yes, they overpaid because they screwed up his contract talks and let Edmonton dictate the terms….but I think I’m going to be thankful that he’s going to turn into the beast who took over the Frozen Four at HSBC Arena and made Sabres fans want him on the team in the first place.

I’m thankful for cup holders above urinals.  I liked the idea so much, I decided to put one in my bathroom at home.

I’m thankful for Mike Schoop.  I love the way he always agrees with his callers and treats them with such respect.

I’m thankful for UB football.  Really.  It’s the closest thing we have to college football.

But most of all, I’m thankful that I’m a Buffalo sports fan.  Even though our hearts have been ripped out and stomped on by our teams, opposing teams, league officials, and fate….we still have hope.  We still believe, even though we may not Bill-ieve.

Happy Thanksgiving!