Great, Scott!

In case the picture of the Hindenburg crashing and burning didn’t make it clear, this is a post about the Super Bowl.

Actually, it’s about boneheaded decisions, tempting fate, and messing with the cosmic forces of nature.

Which means it really is about the Super Bowl.

But not just this year's game.  THAT ONE.  The one that ripped out the heart of every Bills fan, and scarred our psyche for the rest of our lives.

Why did I feel compelled to bring it up again?

Blame Scott Norwood.

Look, I don’t blame him for losing the game….he just failed to win it for us.

But now he’s messing with us again.

Did you see the story that his AFC Championship rings are up for auction?

My first reaction was “Oh my God, some deranged Bills fan is going to buy them and bring them to Buffalo”.

NOOOOOOO!  THAT CAN’T HAPPEN!

I liked Scott Norwood.  He was a good kicker except for that one moment when we really needed him.

By all accounts, he’s a good human being.  And maybe he needs the money.  Maybe he’s in debt.  I hope he gets lots of money for the rings….AS LONG AS THEY DON’T COME HERE.

It’s that cosmic forces thing.

We all know, deep down inside, that if Scott Norwood made that field goal, life in Western New York would have been different.

The Bills would have won at least one more Super Bowl.

No Goal would have been ruled no goal.

Home Run Throwback would have been ruled a forward lateral.

We’d have Bass Pro.  We’d have a new Peace Bridge.

It would be like “It’s a Wonderful Life”.

But none of it happened, because Scott Norwood missed the kick.

So he has to stay away.

Scott Norwood, or anything that has anything to do with Scott Norwood, cannot come back to Western New York until after the Bills actually win a Super Bowl.

You think I’m over-reacting?

Don’t mess with cosmic forces.

Remember a couple years ago when the Bills looked pretty good.  We even dared to use the P-word.  But then it happened.  Scott Norwood.

In their infinite wisdom, the Bills decided it was time to honor Norwood.

So naturally, the team lost that game.  They stunk.  And the lost the next game.  And the next one, and the one after that.  Seven in a row and the season went down the tube.

Cosmic forces.

Which brings me to this year’s Super Bowl.

Congratulations, Seattle.  You’ve become Buffalo.

Admit it, Bills fans.  When they threw that interception, we had these three reactions in the next 2.7 seconds:

• I can’t believe they did that.
• I can’t believe they gave the game to the Patriots.
• That’s what usually happens to us.

We’re Bills fans, we expect things like that to happen to us…..we expect to lose in a devastatingly disappointing way because it happens to us all the time.

So maybe it happened to Seattle because of cosmic forces.

Maybe because of Marshawn Lynch.  Since they got him, he’s played well and has never hit anyone with his car or gotten caught with a gun in his trunk or done any of the other stupid things he did here.

Admit it, even though we hate the Patriots with the heat of a thousand suns, there was something just a little rewarding about knowing Lynch was deprived of the chance to be the hero.

Maybe because of Pete Carroll.  Slimy, smarmy Pete Carroll will forever be known as the man who made the dumbest decision in the history of the Super Bowl.  Maybe in the history of professional sports.  Hell, let’s call it one of the worst decisions in the history of the world.

Although filling the Hindenburg with hydrogen didn’t work out all that well.

Neither did President McKinley’s decision to come to Buffalo in 1901.

Cosmic forces again.  That’s when things started going downhill for us. 

Hmmmm….maybe if McKinley hadn’t been shot, Norwood would have made the kick.

Happy Presidents Day, Grover Cleveland!

I was driving down Transit Road this afternoon and when I passed Grover’s, it was mobbed.  Which makes sense.  After all, it's Presidents Day…and what better way to honor the only president who came from Buffalo than with burgers and beer.  In a bar named after him.  Where he probably did his share of drinking when it was his hunting lodge.

So let’s talk about Grover Cleveland.   In just three years he went from mayor of Buffalo to governor of New York to president of the United States.

He’s not considered a bad president.  But not considered a particularly good one either.  Most surveys have him pretty much middle of the pack.  But there are some interesting things about him.

I know, you’re expecting me to write about the sex scandal.  And I won’t ignore it….after all, he was elected president despite the fact that he had fathered an illegitimate child.  Then there was the child bride thing….while president, the 49-year-old Cleveland married the 21-year-old daughter of his late friend.  (when Bill Clinton was president, everyone talked about how he idolized JFK….clearly Cleveland was his role model)

But there’s more to Grover Cleveland than his hormones.

For one thing, he was the kind of guy who got things done.  Before he was mayor of Buffalo, he was Erie County Sheriff.  Back then, the sheriff was responsible for carrying out executions or paying a deputy $10 to do it.  So Cleveland did it himself.  Twice.  Hangings, both times.  Imagine if Rick Perry could say he did that….think of the applause he’d have gotten in those debates.

Then there’s Cleveland’s reputation as a reformer.  When he became mayor, Buffalo’s government had a reputation for corruption.  (who says history doesn’t repeat itself?)  But Cleveland cleaned things up.  And as his reputation grew, they took notice in Albany.  Which led to his election as governor.  Which led to reforms in state government.  Which led to the presidential election of 1884.  Which he won.

Which led to reforms in Washington.  Even though Cleveland was a Democrat, he kept Republicans in their jobs if he thought they were doing those jobs well.  He was actually an anti-patronage politician.

But in 1888, he lost his bid for re-election.  Even though he won.  Huh?  Let me explain.  Cleveland actually won the popular vote against Benjamin Harrison, but narrow victories in several key states gave Harrison enough Electoral College votes.  (So not only was he the 19^th century version of Bill Clinton, he was Al Gore without the hanging chad)

But when he left the White House, Cleveland said “I’ll be back”.   Okay, before you think Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator, he didn’t really say that.  But the First Lady actually told a staff member to keep the furniture the way it was, because they’d be back in four years. 

And they were.  Making Cleveland the only president ever to serve two non-consecutive terms.   But his second term wasn’t as effective as his first.  He also made many enemies in his own party, so he wasn’t nominated as the Democratic candidate in 1896.  The Republican candidate won that year’s election.  His name was William McKinley.  Who…as we all know….came to Buffalo for the Pan American Exposition in 2001.  And we know how that turned out.

Which is actually another interesting tidbit.  The former mayor of Buffalo, replaced as president by the man who would be assassinated in Buffalo.

One last tidbit…..when Cleveland died in 1908, his last words were “I have tried so hard to do right”.  When it comes to last words, those are pretty good.

So happy Presidents Day, Grover Cleveland.  Buffalo’s gift to the White House.  You’re welcome, America.

Big stick, big anniversary

 You know that “bully pulpit” that we hear so much about?  We heard it just last week when President Obama gave his jobs speech.

You know who coined the phrase?  That’s right, the president known for saying “bully” when he thought something was great.  Teddy Roosevelt.

Who became president 110 years ago today.

Right here in Buffalo.

Yep, September 14, 1901 was quite a day in American history, and the history of Buffalo.  You remember your history, don’t you?  Back then, Buffalo was the 8^th-largest city in the country.  And that year, the city went all out.  It played host to the Pan-American Exposition….kind of like a world’s fair, only bigger.  It was huge.  Spectacular buildings were built for the event.  Lit up at night….they called it the “City of Lights”.  Many visitors were seeing electricity for the first time.

And in September, the president of the United States came to town.  William McKinley.  Unfortunately, so did an anarchist named Leon Czolgosz.  Who…on September 6^th, as the president greeted the public at the Exposition’s Temple of Music…..fired two shots at McKinley.  One just grazed him, but the other went through his stomach, pancreas, and kidney.  At first, doctors thought the president would survive….but on September 12^th he took a turn for the worse.

Roosevelt, who was vice president, was rushed to Buffalo.  But in those days, rushing didn’t mean quite what it does today.  McKinley died at 2:15 am on the 14^th.  Roosevelt arrived about 12 hours later, and was sworn in that afternoon.

At the age of 42, he was the youngest president in history.  He may have been young…he may not have been elected….but that didn’t stop him from becoming one of our greatest presidents.

Siena College, which periodically surveys presidential scholars to rank all US presidents, had Teddy number two on its last list, behind the other Roosevelt, FDR.  Teddy has been in the top five on that list every time.

I’ve always been a big TR fan.  Not just because of the Buffalo connection, and not because of the Teddy Bear thing.  Because he was an interesting president.

He helped settle a United Mine Workers strike, with the workers getting more pay for fewer hours.  He believed in regulation….passing the Meat Inspection Act and the Pure Food and Drug Act to protect Americans from unsafe food.  He believed the government should regulate interstate corporations.  He believed in conservation.  He believed in the “Square Deal”…a fair shake for everyone.  In other words, he was a progressive.  Oh, did I mention he was also a Republican?  Imagine what he would think of his party today.

And imagine what he would think of the presidency today.  Remember, Teddy was known for the phrase “speak softly and carry a big stick”.   When was the last time a president did that?

Imagine Teddy Roosevelt dealing with John Boehner and Eric Cantor and Mitch McConnell.  Compromise?  Bipartisanship?  He’d give them a rough ride.

Back to Buffalo for a minute.  There are those who say the McKinley assassination was the beginning of the city’s downturn.  A lot of bad things have happened to Buffalo since then.  Who knows….maybe if McKinley had lived, the Bills might have won one of those Super Bowls.

And who knows…maybe President Obama can channel a little Teddy.  Maybe he can find that big stick. 

So happy anniversary TR.  Bully!